Hello all.

Perhaps you remember there being actual fanfiction on this journal. Perhaps you discovered things are f-locked that didn't used to be. Maybe you can around looking for fanfiction and aren't finding it.

Not a problem. Nor are you nuts. All fanfiction and anything sensitive or quasi-legal was f-locked during the Strikethrough '07 fiasco. Just comment to this post and I'll friend you to let you in.

Huh...

So this is what I get for admitting to being good at word searches and jigsaw puzzles. And favoring Victorian grammar over modern. And stuttering. And not having many RL friends...

Even though I know it's only chemical
These peaks and valleys are beginning to take their toll
Try to convince myself that all it takes is time
But the most derisive voice I hear is mine

It opens all the scars on me
It leaves me shaken in my belief
It takes my hand just to drag me down
It makes me a stranger in the crowd

Give me isolation just for now
I feel a hard rain coming down
I promise that I will be back soon
But for now I'll return to my cocoon

There is thunder in the distance and the sky grows gray
There is lightning in the clouds in search of prey
It's not a matter of if as much as when
The clouds will break and the rainfall will begin

It opens all the scars on me
It leaves me shaken in my belief
It takes my hand just to drag me down
It makes me a stranger in the crowd

Give me isolation just for now
I feel a hard rain coming down
I promise that I will be back soon
But for now I'll return to my cocoon

Cracks in the chrysalis spread out like tiny snakes
That hiss a litany of rumors and mistakes
But I'm afraid their cause is fraught with futility
There is nothing more that they can take from me

It opens all the scars on me
It leaves me shaken in my belief
It takes my hand just to drag me down
It makes me a stranger in the crowd

Give me isolation just for now
I feel a hard rain coming down
I promise that I will be back soon
But for now I'll return to my cocoon
-Cocoon by Assemblage 23

Yep. Because I'm a paranoid little monkey and because my lj is stock-full of stuff TPTB wouldn't like I have created an account over in InsaneJournal.

From this point on all fics are posted there. I'll be putting links to them here but eventually I sense the need to f-lock things on IJ.

Soooo, yeah...

Fics and stuffs will be here for those wondering where all my awesome went.

When you see this, post a little weensy excerpt from as many random works-in-progress as you can find lying around. Who knows? Maybe inspiration will burst forth and do something, um, inspiration-y.

1. The final chapter of the Call of Cthulhu universe.

Danny Phantom awoke from a very disturbing dream. Clockwork had managed to kidnap Lyonell and taken him to Mexico where they were waiting for him at the Pyramid of the Feathered Serpent and Lyonell was tied to an altar and Clockwork had a knife and…

2. Next installment of my Urban Jungle rewrite and subsequent AU.

Dash lay on the cold, hard bed in the school nurse’s office. He was so cold but couldn’t bring himself to shiver, which explained why he was shirtless and there was an equally shirtless Kwan curled up against him, donating body heat. They listened to the conversation outside in main office, as Mrs. Baxter fussed over her son, as Mr. Lancer showed a surveillance tape involving a ghostly octopus, as the school nurse mentioned something about blood loss and hospitals.

Dash looked fearfully at Kwan. “But… that’s not what happened…” he rasped through dry, cracked lips.

3. An Invader Zim series all focused around one singular story...

Dib sighed. Worse than death. I’ve contracted a disease for which there is no cure, described by those who have it as worse than death. He looked over at the bedside table, where he’d kept a dagger for over a decade. No. It’s too easy. I’ve never taken the easy way out so why should I start now? Maybe Agent M will find a cure in the database. Maybe I can talk to Dad. Of course he’ll call me insane again but what else is new? Besides, if there’s a chance…

Aaaand, that's all I'm posting for now...

Hard to ask this when you're not on AIM. but I'll ask anyways.

Can I? Please?

I got points taken off Empathy because I hate people.

A score of 7 in psychokinesis is hella good because you have no idea how friggin hard it is.

As Malfoy, you are rude, confident, cocky and like to have your way. You gain respect in the wrong places for your vindictiveness and malice.

expected...

All stolen from samurai_usagi

( random tests )

"If you're maybe noticing that you're older than you used to be, and are feeling sad/angry/confused/worried/frustrated that you haven't accomplished as much as you/other people in your present or past/annoyingly critical voices inside your head think you should have, and if you're maybe feeling something like "I'm not a real grownup like everyone else," and if you're maybe also feeling sad/angry/confused/worried/frustrated that your body isn't working the way it used to, and you're maybe thinking, "if that's true then how am I going to DO all those accomplishments that I/other people/voices in my head think I ought or want to do?", and maybe you're also wondering how are you going to dig out from under the accumulation of habit and procrastination and self-doubt to some sense of satisfaction in your life again, then post this same sentence in your journal."

from hakeber

Gah! Gamer! Gamer funk! Air freshener! Air freshener!

Note to girls talking about random social things right behind me in the library:

SHUT THE FUCK UP! This is a LIBRARY! Some of us are trying to write 20 page papers that are due in 3 hours because we were too jackassed DRUNK last night to do it! Go discuss the cuteness of your professors ELSEWHERE where you're not bothering hung-over chemists who spent the night mixing alcohol with phedrines! I'm not getting a grade in this class but this is worse. This is my PRIDE at stake!

Yours Truly...

The tiny little girl with the yellowed fangs and the crazy eyes and the shaking hands who's been glaring death and daggers at you for the past hour.

I will be f-locking all of the fiction on my journal over the next unknown and kind of arbitrary period of time. I'm starting with the oldest stuff and moving up. After f-locking up to the present I will be making a sticky post inviting anyone who wants to keep reading to do the f-list thing.

And I have the feeling I need to start looking into other journals. Because these journals are the archives where I store my stories. Not the computer, not the hard drive, not the devArt account, here. Yes, here. And thanks much to falsechaos, in yahoo's email archives.

But I feel deeply that I need another safehouse in which to archive. Because this house is no longer safe.

http://www3.interscience.wiley.com/cgi-bin/abstract/109776210/ABSTRACT?CRETRY=1&SRETRY=0

http://www3.interscience.wiley.com/cgi-bin/fulltext/109776210/PDFSTART

http://pubs.acs.org/cgi-bin/archive.cgi/jacsat/1972/94/i13/pdf/ja00768a020.pdf

sources, macrocyclic Ni compound #3

Wow. Shocking. [/deadpanned]

Seriously though, my Western Zodiacal sign is mutable water, my Chinese Zodiac is metal-water. The elements I use most in magic are earth and water, my personality is dominated by air and water. Thus, this result is a big fat DUH.

I took the "Chinese Elements" quiz on gURL.com
		I am... Water The ancient Yin-Yang scholars saw water types as people who usually didn't mind spending a little time by themselves. Honesty probably means a lot to you--if there's one thing water types can't stand, it's people who tell lies, even "little" white lies. Water types are happiest near water. Read more... What chinese element are you?

How evil are you?

....expected but still... wow.

Sweet!

A personality test...

I need to say this. I don't give a fuck if anyone reads it, I just need to say it.

I despise Christianity. The religion as a whole, not individuals. I cannot stand that stupid book. It takes effort for me to avoid punching fundamentalists in the face. It's not religious prejudice, I'm not an atheist, and it's not some plea for attention.

It's very personal.

You see, my family is Native American. My mom's side especially. I'm a registered member of the Choctaw Nation, a dual citizen under the eyes of US law. I vote in tribal elections. My cousin heads the Broken Bow hospital. And we suffered for it.

Up until my mom's family moved out here in the 40s we were unfortunate enough to be wards of the Oklahoma Missions. They beat us for speaking our own language. They tortured us when we couldn't hold down the White Man's food. And they broke us. My mother has photos of her grandmother on the wall and you can see it. They have the most lifeless eyes a person could ever imagine.

Stuff like that gets passed on.

When growing up my grandmother was beaten with a wire coathanger until bloody then locked in the garage for days on end without food because that's the discipline her mother knew.

When growing up my mother took care of her acid-drugged mother because Grandma didn't want to do to her daughter what was done to her. It didn't work.

When growing up my mother put the wire coathanger down because she didn't want to repeat past mistakes. Instead I was spanked until I cried then beaten until I stopped crying. It didn't matter how, whether it be exhaustion, self-control, or unconsciousness, so long as I stopped crying she'd stop hitting me.

I'm scared to cry, now. Tears are streaming down my face as I sit here and I fear for my life because of it. I'm terrified to get pregnant because I don't know what I'll do to a child. No, I do know what I'll do.

And it's not pretty.

And it's Christianity that taught us this. They taught us how to break our daughters to enforce control over them. They taught us that we were worthless because of our race. They taught us this.

So when someone asks me to show tolerance for something that's done this to us, to all of us, don't act surprised when I go off on a rant. Because a rant won't get me jailed like assault will. A rant will lose me friends.

Friends are replacable. What they took from us, from me, is not.